Paranoia
by Fire.Rose.Black
Summary: An account of Harry potter's descent into madness in his sixth year. AU as of HPB, light slash but not conventionally.


**Paranoia** by Rose

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I'd procrastinate and you'd all be left hanging...forever!

Thanks to: My beta, Angelbitch. I love ya, hun.

Summary: A detailed account of Harry Potter's descent into paranoid madness, and the effects thereof. Inspired by Harry's obsession in Book 6(which I never read, but peiced togetehr, kinda), but not HPB compliant(since I never actually read it O-o).

Warnings: Light slash, kind of. Confusing. Pay attention to the time in between "entries"

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Day 1

We arrived today at Hogwarts. 'Mione and Ron seem to be doing well. Saw Malfoy on the train with some friends. I'm sure he's up to something. Anyway, it's good to get back here.

Day 5

Snape is a stupid bat. Potions is possibly the worst class in the history of classes. The new DADA teacher seems nice though. Kind of jumpy. Hermione mentioned she saw Malfoy checking out a huge stack of books. I wonder what he's up to…

Day 8

Got a detention from Snape today for fighting with Malfoy in class. I hate them both so much so much. Had a weird dream last night, but I can't remember it today. Quidditch try-outs are soon, thank goodness.

Day 11

Made it on the team, big surprise. Ron is too, hopefully he'll be more confident this year. I saw the Slytherin team practicing today, but Malfoy wasn't there. Ginny mentioned that she'd seen him talking to Snape. Maybe I'll figure something out tonight in detention. I had the dream again last night. Still can't remember it.

Day 12

I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape. I hate Snape.

Day 28

I saw Malfoy returning a pile of books today. I tried to see the titles but all I could read was an old _Hogwarts: a History_ copy and something called _Common Charms_. I had another dream I can't remember, but it's different this time. It felt distinctly grey.

Day 39

I following Parkinson last night in my invisibility cloak. She looked upset. She went to some old classroom and cried. Malfoy didn't show up. Not useful. Had trouble falling asleep after that, so no dreams.

Day 54

I caught the snitch today! Very happy. Malfoy wasn't at the game, even though the rest of his friends came to cheer Hufflepuff. Wonder where he was. I'm going to try to snoop around tonight.

Day 55

Malfoy's password is "atrum lux lucis". I believe it's Latin. I'll use this at some point. I didn't sleep at all last night. No dreams.

Day 67

Hermione says I've been acting distant lately. Her hair sure is fuzzy, I've noticed. I've been up late reading up on stuff. Trying to pass classes and some extra stuff. Haven't slept a lot, but I feel fine, so Ron shouldn't worry so much. I'm going to sneak into Malfoy's room as soon as they stop worrying about me.

Day 78

Malfoy's room is very plain. It's green and silver, no surprise. There some pictures of his friends. Lots of clothes. I think he must be hiding something, but I can't figure it out. Had a nightmare last night, not Voldemort though. Liked it better when I didn't sleep as much.

Day 94

I think someone's following me.

Day 95

Ron found me talking to myself today. His freckles are so orange, you know. Like his hair. Carrot hair, hah. Went five days without sleep, then had weird dream. I remember Malfoy was in it. Maybe he's attacking me somehow.

Day 100

Went back to Malfoy's room. I was definitely followed there, but I had a silencing charm and my invisibility cloak. Strange. Still nothing suspicious there.

Day 105

I think Neville must be a spy. He's like Pettigrew, only my generation.

Day 107

Set a trap for Neville. Caught Seamus and Dean instead. Said it was a prank. They looked at me weird. Followed Malfoy to Astronomy Tower and watched him stare for a while.

Day 110

Neville is sneakier than previously thought. Tried to poison him. Killed his toad. Too bad. His toad was probably some death eater anyway.

Day 120

Am definitely being followed. I think Snape is really a vampire. Failed three tests in a row. Malfoy caught me watching him and smirked meanly at me. Maybe he's a vampire too.

Day 126

Think Ron and Hermione are imposters. Am asking them sneaky questions to see if they are for sure. So far Voldemort's spying seems to have covered everything.

Day 142

Forgot to go to Quidditch match the other day. Katie yelled. Was busy watching Malfoy.

Day 162

Dumbledore called me into his office today to talk to him. His bird is so red. Red, red, red. Birdie-bird bird. It cries though and catches on fire. I think someone's soul is inside the bird.

Day 163

Dreamed that Dumbledore's bird was made of blood. Red red red. Ginny has red hair. But it's really orange. Orange-red. Red-orange. Carrot like. Here bunny, bunny. Ginny not amused.

Day 174

Malfoy tried to kill me today. I dunno how. But he did. His real name is Draco, you know. Like a dragon. I stole a golden egg form a dragon once. Gold, gold, gold. Gold and red are Gryffindor colors. Dragons and birdies. If gold's a Gryffindor color, why is Malfoy in Slytherin?

Day 185

Hermione talked at me today. Her hair turning into a swarm of flies and suffocated her.

Day 186

Hermione seems back to normal today, but Neville turned into a rat during potions and Ron used him as ingredients. Snape sent me to the infirmary.

Day 187

In infirmary. Fat woman talking to me. Most women are either very fat or very skinny. No in-betweenies. She has two heads, is kind of strange.

Day 189

Malfoy in infirmary. Something about some creature tried to eat him in class. He's evil, I know it.

Day 190

He tried to strangle me. Hiding under my sheets. Need to get out of here. Must act calm so fat women releases me.

Day 200

Malfoy kissed me. He's not a vampire.

Day 201

Malfoy's been missing for a week now. Probably with Voldemort. Drinking tea. He must be a vampire.

Day 205

Don't know where I am. Someone's trying to kill me. Where am I? Who am I?

Day 210

Dumbledore tried to talk to me again today. His words were like shiny shards of glass. When they touched me, they fractured into tiny pieces and fell on the floor.

Day 212

Malfoy came back. Apparently he was never gone, but in the infirmary again. They tell me that I put him there. Wonder how he's trying to kill me this time.

Day 224

Killed Malfoy. Might be safe now.

Day 234

Went into Malfoy's room again. Still nothing incriminating. He came in while I was there. Didn't suspect anything, I hope. Was trapped in closet.

Day 247

Malfoy killed me today. Hurts.

Day 250

School year almost over. Malfoy looks tired. Mal means bad in Latin. His password's in Latin.

Day 263

Someone broke into my dorm today. Screamed. Suspect Malfoy.

Day 270

Voldemort attacked. Maybe he's attacking. Not sure.

Day 271

Dumbeldore says I should go to St. Mungo's over the summer. Wonder why someone would name a Saint Mungo.

Day 273

Things are crawling all over me. The came out of the letters on my finals grades and now are all over my body. They itch but won't come off.

Day 274

So tired. Can't sleep, nightmares, bad dreams. Train leaves tomorrow. No! Can't go. No no no. Must go to astronomy tower. Malfoy was there once. Smells so clear. See something moving over balcony. Must go follow it. Might be Malfoy.

_Daily Prophet_

_BOY-WHO-LIVED COMMITS SUICIDE_

_One day before leaving his sixth year at Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, young Harold James Potter, known as the Savior of the Wizarding World, threw himself off the Astronomy Tower at his school. Classmates say that he was acting strangely this past year…_

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Confused yet? Just to clear something up, Not everything that Harry says happened actually happened. I don't even know how much of it is real and how much is in his head. It's really up to you and how you interpret it. The ending "article" might even be some fantasy or dream.

If you translate Draco's password and tell me in a review, I'll give you a cyber-cookie.

Ciao,

Rose


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